The speeches are finished, the toasts done. Time for that traditional first dance by the new husband and wife. They step to the centre of the room, he takes her in his arms, and the music begins.
What comes next depends on the couple. Will they dance to the strains of a live band or a recording played by a DJ? Will the song be We’ve Only Just Begun by the Carpenters, The Power of Love by Celine Dion, or the Rolling Stones party tune Start Me Up?
The opening song usually has some meaning or symbolism for the couple. It could be the song they heard when they first met, and it’s usually a slow song. The list is long on Dion, Michael Bolton, Bryan Adams and Whitney Houston. Titles run to Can’t Help Falling in Love, Forever I Do, Now and Forever, Unchained Melody and Endless Love.
Music during the wedding ceremony itself is pretty standardized. There is an incredible amount of tradition involved, and people are afraid to buck that tradition.
But there are some exceptions too. Sometimes some cousin or other non-professional belting out a tuneless version of I Can’t Smile Without You – a situation shown hilariously in the movie Four Weddings and a Funeral.
A number couples choose a shocking song as their intro, like Prodigy’s “Smack my Bitch Up”. Other couples, usually those who already have babies may opt for a classical nursery rhyme like “One, two, buckle my shoe”.
Below are ten tips to help you with your wedding music:
1. Try to book your band or DJ about six months before your big day.
2. Narrow your options by deciding whether you want a slow or lively song.
3. If you get stuck, find out what song your parents chose at their wedding or ask your deejay or bandleader for inspiration.
4. Pick your song and venue before you book dance lessons so that you can practice to the right tempo and know how much space you need.
5. If ballroom dancing doesn’t appeal, popular alternatives include swing, tango and merengue. A dance instructor can help you pick the best style for your song.
6. Private lessons make a great engagement gift, but if you can’t afford them, take group lessons. It can be a fun bridal party activity.
7. Practice at home in between lessons.
8. If you can’t afford dance lessons, buy a DVD to learn the basics.
9. Know how the song will sound on the big day. Give your deejay the correct version of the song or make sure you’re happy with the way your band plays it.
10. If you’re nervous, don’t make your dance too technical or feel you have to dance to the entire song. Have members of the bridal party join in midway to ease the pressure.
